Rock is hard

I can't embed this because it's too awesome. How MTV talks birds and bees: Here.

Not really sure what it has to do with Don't Kill the Music, but who cares– sex rocks.

Fierce

Except she kind of looks like a uterus. Ugh. I bet Oprah's loving this. Sitting on her dark set, stroking one of her schnauzers, saying to herself in a husky voice, "I made her."

Good for T-Banks, though. I was wondering when seeing her face all over the damn place was going to come to a head. That smile is very, "Look out, hags. I'm next."

Did she come out like that?

I'm jealous of a two year old. You do realize we'll still be hearing about Shiloh when we're 50? When she has a horrible cocaine habit and steals Suri's boyfriend, her own brother, Maddox, once she learns they aren't blood related. But only after a brief lesbian encounter with Apple Paltrow-Martin.

You haven't seen this many women in line since they were allowed to vote.

Tomorrow. It's here. May 30th. When every female in the city syncs up and estrogen fills the theaters faster than day 14 of the cycle. Fandango has already reported an astounding 90% of advance sales for a bunch of crazy bitches that don't want to have to pull hair to get in. Still don't know how to get out of work? You're a woman. You're full of excuses. Feign a menstrual headache. Fake cry. Come up with a sexual harassment charge on your co-worker and bolt. Whatever you have to do, do it. And celebrate being a woman by passively aggressively making your friends feel bad they didn't see it opening night.

Prediction spoiler alert: I think Big dies.

Pork and beans

Not just a midwestern dinner, anymore.

Look at these assholes

Posers.

Please, god. Make it go away.

I'm going to close my eyes and count to ten....Fuck, it's still there. And it's on tonight. That means I'm going to have to cut all my Memorial Day plans short just so I can tune in and and make fun of mo'lo's drag voice. God damnit. Good tag, though.

Learn how to drown

Meet the thirty-year-old captain by day, hero by–whenever he sees a distressed swimmer, Kevin Campion. I actually heard nothing about this, and had no real interest in it until I saw the CPR certified dreamboat captain (what I would give to be the dummy he practiced on) on gawker.com today. Would you look at that face? And as far as Seattle flannel goes, not bad! Oh, the story: He rescued someone from drowning and is humbly refusing a reward. Even hotter. He doesn't want your money, he just wants to surf. This story is just proof that nobody cares what's going on in the world unless you're hot. Just ask Natalie Holloway when you find her.

Here's a pic of the hot hero. Look, there's just enough space to Photoshop yourself next to him.

Why you should hate Oprah

Good reasons coming soon.

I love/hate NY

haha, boo.

It's true. Wherever you are, I want to break-up.

Anyone who refers to their own vag as "clit" deserves to lose part of it.

Bringin it back:

bogue

Blu

Gawker saw it first. My roommate saw it before me. I'm always the last one to the party. Rad, nonetheless.

Bronx Bred Butta

He hails from Fort Lauderdale, Florida but Butta Verses (aka John Cullun) is NYC through and through. A lyrically conscientious rapper, Butta was raised on the inner city streets of the Bronx where he picked up hip hop from battle rap freestyles and local ciphers. Uncertain if this was the life he wanted, Butta relocated to Fort Lauderdale to pursue surfing. But as fate would have it, rather than meet surfers, Butta met more MCs. It was then that he decided to put together a collective tape of prospective artists and DJ’s who supported each other getting heard. They named it Glee Club Detention and it landed in the lap of no other than rap headmaster, DJ Maseo of De La Soul. Maseo signed Butta to his Florida-based Bear Mountain record company and it wasn’t long after that De La Soul’s Posdnuous and Trugoy the Dove were spitting his praises, too.

His debut came in early two thousand when Butta was given a once in a lifetime opportunity to perform rhyming back to back with Posdnuous off the track “No.” After that, it was hell yes. Butta began opening for several artists like John Legend, Common, and of course De La Soul. But without receiving proper distribution or promotion for his first album, Brand Spankin, the protégé and Bear Mountain decided to part ways. And with a new 12” single, “Jones in Ya Bones” in his back pocket and De La’s endorsements at his back, Butta smoothly released Six Minutes to Ten in 2007.

Check it : www.myspace.com/buttaverses

Gossip Girl is SFGICFTI

(Gossip Girl is so fucking good I can’t fucking take it)
It took me so long to figure out an acronym I accidentally forgot to watch it tonight. But last week’s episode? RUFKM? (r u fucking kidding me?) Serena’s a murder, Georgina's a c u next cuntday and Little J’s a fag hag! Damn ladies. All I had to worry about in high school was a gigantic overbite and if my Chevy Cavalier was going to start. Poor kid! Oh Snap!

O face

Uhohhhh. Someone get me an online ticker to post on my Facebook page. Countdown to August. All Points West and Virgin Fest. Coming soon. Enough music to make my ears drool in the sexual equivalent to pre cum. That was really gross and unnecessary, but needless to say I’m excited. Leading up to climax (last one, promise) Gogol Bordello, Does it Offend You, Yeah (no. not at all. I actually kinda like it) and Ladytron. See ya later, Starbucks and frequent purchases of little baggies…Ticketmaster’s my pimp these summer months. Holla. Wear a condom.