Client #10

I, too, want to do unsafe things.

Those Dems really know how to have some fun while in office, no? This alleged affair (neither really alleged, nor an affair, I suppose. Dirty sex with a prostitute is more of a hobby–sorta like golf.) Trying again: This repeated business transaction between Client #9 and "Kristen" is said to have pulled in nearly $5,500/romp. According to the Associated Press, "Kristen" was part of some high class prostitution ring that charges the price of a Soho loft every time she has her hair pulled.

Cut to Kristen and a Realtor in a spacious apartment.
Kristen: Ok ! I'll take it!
Realtor: Great. I'll need 20% now before i can give it to you.
Kristen: (angry) Fuck you! I didn't put 20% of my mouth on your ****, did I?

I guess that would mean she'd rather pay in full. Whatever, she's a stupid whore, anyway. This is probably how it'd go down. (ha. go down...)

And now we wait for the resignation. Don't resign, Spitzer. That's like a rad Law and Order plot that someone was like, "ah fuck it" and turned it into a Lifetime movie, instead. Handsome Governor resigns, retires and lives the simple life in boring-ass Connecticut where he tries to become a better father and husband while taking up sailing. Stand tall, Spitzer. And after your trial, stand on the courthouse steps, flail a gun in front of Detective Stabler yelling, "I did it," blow your wife a kiss, and shoot yourself in the face.

Dick Wolf